Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Warning: Preaching Can Be Dangerous to Your Health

Warning: Your next sermon could prove hazardous to your health! At least, that’s what Jeff Harlow is probably thinking today. Jeff is a pastor in Kokomo, Indiana. This past Sunday, he brought out a dirt bike during a church service to demonstrate the concept of unity.

Now he’s demonstrating the concept of healing.

Jeff is the senior pastor at Crossroads Community Church. Unfortunately, he broke his wrist when he lost control of the motorcycle at the start of Sunday’s second service, driving off a 5-foot platform and into the vacant first row of seats (another good reason why no one ever sits on the front row!)

He underwent surgery on the wrist Monday. Becky, his wife, said, “Jeff has already laughed a lot, so he’s OK. I think his pride was bruised.” She continued by saying that “He had this idea that he would bring this bike out onstage and show people how the rider would become one with the bike. He was going to just sit on it and drive it out. He was just walking the dirt bike out onstage and somehow it got away from him. It was not intended.”

Jeff had performed the demonstration at earlier services Saturday night and Sunday morning without incident.

Okay, that’s a powerful demonstration, if I have ever heard of one! Now, I’m wondering, did he finish the sermon? How did he tie the wreck into his message? Or, did the congregation (in unity) come to his rescue? Should Pastor Jeff sue the maker of the dirt bike for obvious defects in the product, plus his humiliation for the accident?

So, what’s the worse illustration you have ever used? Which one backfired on you the worse? Did you have something go wrong in one of your illustrations? Tell the world so that we can all enjoy in your misery, I mean story.

11 comments:

  1. Illustrations? What are they? I preach straight bible and expect the people to listen. (And I have land I will sell you in a Florida swamp if you believe that). Too many to mention but it is not unusual to get words twisted. Problem is I said it about 3 times until I finally said, "YOu know what I mean." The word was drill bit and I kept saying "bill dritt." 3 times! They finally figured out I was vocally challenged.

    Another one by a friend...far more embarrassing. He was a youth pastor who had taken the youth camping. The next week he talked about their trip and how they pinched t**ts. HE meant to say "Pitch tents." He realized what he said as they rolled in laughter and ended up repeating it and finally said, "Ah we put tents up." I still chuckle at him. That was gobs of years ago.

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  2. Oh my, this reminds me of the joke about the guy on the roof during the flood. I can almost here it now; "Don't look at me, I did my part. If the vacant first row of seats isn't enough of a hint..." (grin)

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  3. Bill, are you sure you aren't "blaming" others for your own mistakes?

    So, you only preach the Bible, no illustrations, stories, or personal applications?

    I can hardly wait to visit your church and hear you!

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  4. Jimmy...nothing weird has ever happened to you? Nothing to share?

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  5. Steve, this is tooooo funny. are we allowed to laugh at others' misery? I'm not laughing at Pastor Jeff's renegade bike, but I am chuckling at the verbal blunders. I won't tell you how many times my fingers have typed similar things and I barely caught it. Sometimes others do and I am grateful for the editors in my life.

    Gollee, I wish I had a funny story. I so want to live up to the humor that Bill says I have. selahV

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  6. It's not mine, but my trumpet instructor in college was the son of a Baptist preacher.

    He told me that there was this one woman, who was of a substantial size, and every so often, she would stand up to "testify," and things would always get interesting.

    One time, she was just getting to going good, and had some "issues," really loud issues. He said "she just fanned behind" and kept on going.

    Another time, she was really going good and said, "I'm here to tell you, that devil, he ain't nuthin' but a son of a b***h."

    What do you do? With the exception of trying to explain that to my kids, I would absolutely die laughing if that happened in my church.

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  7. Can you see that taking place in most churches?

    Talk abot freaking out...big time...and then kicking her out the door! Devil or no devil.

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  8. Steve: come on up! I will educate you in the ways of the north and good baseball (not sure where I will find that).

    The pitching tents one really is my friend's. I do remember having bought a new car and parking at the local mall. When I went out my key opener wouldn't work nor would the key open the door. I called the dealer and then called my wife (from inside the mall. That was before I had a cell). When I went back out a van had moved and lo and behold there was a car two spaces down identical to mine. It was mine! And to think I almost kicked the door of the offending car I was so mad!

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  9. Oh that car story reminds me of a time when I was a child...

    I'm thinking that would make a good post in a day or so! Thanks for the idea!

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  10. Steve, so many weird things happen to me that I have a whole blog about it. What's funny is that nobody seems to realize that I'm talking about me just as much as you aliens. It's funny when they assume I'm just being all condemning. If so, I'm doing it me first. (grin)

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  11. So...an alien? As in Mork and Mindy alien?

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I can't wait to read what you have written.