Thursday, October 23, 2008

I Understand Mark Twain So Much Better Now!

[Casket from Google Search, not my actual casket]
Mark Twain once said that the rumors of his demise had been greatly exaggerated.

Apparently, someone was extremely hopeful that Mr. Twain had passed on to the next life and made it known that he had died. The only problem with that gossip was the fact that Mr. Twain was still alive!

Well, I understand how Mr. Twain must have felt.

Over the last few days, I've gotten many phone calls, emails, visits, well wishes and cards. I have appreciated each and every act of kindness. These have touched my heart.

However, the best card came today. It was addressed to both me and my wife. That fact is underlined and is important to the story below. The card was from a woman who works with my company, in another state.

Here's the text of her card:

"May loving memories
bring comfort to you
in this time of sadness.

With Deepest Sympathy."
Okay, help me understand this, will you please. If this person believes I have died, then why would she address the card to both me AND my wife? Wouldn't she have addressed it only to my wife? Wouldn't she be the one who needed sympathy? Sympathy ain't going to mean much to a dead person. Or, so I would assume.

Now I wonder who she has told that I've died. Will I get more sympathy cards? Will my wife get more sympathy cards? Will people be lining up to take my job? Will anyone actually send us/her flowers? Candy? Fresh fruit? Money? [Personally, I'm hoping for fresh fruit, since I can't eat candy anymore!]

Okay, on the other side of all of this, if she didn't think I had died, was this the only card she had to send? Did she do like the widow in the New Testament who gave her mite, the best she had? Did she just grab the first card that was in the box? Did she not read the words printed on the card? I know men are often accused of that, but really, a woman sending a sympathy card!

I had a heart attack! I didn't die!

I've always heard that "it's the thought that counts." Folks, in this situation, I'm not sure I'm buying that one this time!


  1. You should show up at that lady's house on Halloween night. She'd think she saw a ghost!

  2. OH! It's funny and not funny all at the same time for sure.

    Bro G has a couple of thoughts:

    1) Maybe she meant she has sympathy for the fact that you had a heart attack because life will never be the same again.

    2) Maybe she sent the wrong card. You know - perhaps she had a variety pack of cards and merely grabbed the wrong one. You couldn't have gotten, "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!"

    3) Perhaps she was sending cards to more than one person.. you know, multi-tasking. Got the names and cards mixed up.

  3. OH! That third thought in that list was mine. So, I was still accurate when I said, "Bro G has a couple of thoughts."

    Ut oh! It's a list...

  4. Camey and Bro. G.

    Thanks for your lists...

    1) Okay...I could accept that one...and had not thought of it that way.

    2)That one would be 8 months too late...

    3) Well, I would have loved to be at the mailbox, when the widow got the "hope you enjoy your new home" card...

  5. Hey, at least she thought enough of you to send "a" card! lol

  6. Rick...I've often wondered, if I died, who would send a card or show up for my funeral...well, apparently, I know one person who would! At she send a card...

  7. Ok so that was really funny and even more so because my mother-in-law just received a sympathy card last week from my father-in-law's cardiologist. Yeah, Steve. Even his doctor thought he had died. His cardiologist nonetheless. LOL! I told her to use it as a way to meet with him and preach the Gospel and then have my father-in-law walk through the door while she claims "he's been healed -- it's just like Lazarus -- he's been raised from the dead". That will make a believer out of ya. ;)

    Now how's my sense of humor?!!


    heidi reed

  8. Well...Heidi...if I got a sympathy note from MY cardiologist, I wouldn't be laughing right now...but, I think you gave your family the right advice...Maybe this was the cardiologist way of saying, "Hey I miss seeing you around here!" Or, "Please come back for a visit!" Most cardiologist have a terrible bedside manner anyway!

  9. Heidi cracked me up. Maybe she wasn't a big fan of yours? Not Heidi, the woman who sent the card. Heidi's a big fan. So am I. Sounds like you are feeling better. Yay!


Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I can't wait to read what you have written.