Here Kitty Kitty

What most of us have known to be true, is on trial to be proved.

We should never be fooled by the pretty red bow that our cat is wearing. We should never be fooled by the soft purring sounds they make as we rub them.

Or so says notorious “self-defense” cat killer Joseph Petcka. Mr. Petcka took the witness stand in Manhattan last Thursday and described his victim—Norman, the orange house tabby—as a raging, rearing, growling banshee.

Petcka told jurors that Norman, his girlfriend'’ little kitty, brought on his own demise by attacking twice—maybe three times—that night in March 2007.

The tall, dashing, out-of-work actor spoke so dramatically about little Norman’s angry “stance”—and about how the cat “lunged” and “reared” and “threw me on my butt”—that for 90 minutes of testimony, it was almost possible to forget that Norman was fully declawed and weighed only 7 3/4 pounds. Did you read that? This man-killer weights less than 8 pounds and is totally declawed!

Mr. Petcka said, “Norman came and lunged at me, throwing me on my butt by the coffee table. I went down with my hands down toward Norman, and Norman reared around and bit into my hand, into my thumb area. I was screaming, ‘Uhhh! Norman! Get off of me! Uhhh’”

Now, let’s not lose site of this fact: Mr. Petcka, who is 37-years-old, and is a 6-foot-2, 210-pound former Mets minor league pitcher.

I’m sorry. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but something sounds wrong with this story. I know cats have sharp teeth, I understand that. But, did this former minor league baseball player really have no other option but to kill the cat?

Seems to me that he could have just walked away. I’m pretty sure that would have made a better impression on his girlfriend. I don’t know that I know many pet owners who would just accept you killing their animal like this.

Then again, maybe the cat was a Yankee fan!