Just Look in My Purse. It's On the Top!

[Not the actual purse in this story. My wife has this thing for chickens. I thought she might actually like a purse like this!]

I can’t resist telling this story. closer to the end of it, you’ll better understand.

Apparently, a longtime employee of a major Queens, New York, jewelry manufacturer stole a staggering 500 pounds of gold by smuggling it in her handbag over a nearly six-year period, prosecutors announced.

Teresa Tambunting, 50, of Scarsdale, New York, allegedly stole the shiny merchandise by concealing it in a false bottom she created in the lining of her pocketbook, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said.

“With gold trading at nearly $900 an ounce, the defendant is accused of establishing a virtual mining operation in Long Island City which siphoned off millions of dollars’ worth of the precious metal from her employer,” Brown said.

Officials at Jacmel Jewelry in Long Island City, where Tambunting had worked for 28 years, noticed they were missing up to $12 million worth of gold in January. After an investigation was launched, Tambunting, who became a vault manager in 1991, arrived at Jacmel’s offices with a suitcase containing 66 pounds of gold with an estimated value of $868,000. Tambunting allegedly told detectives that she had taken the gold, Brown said. A subsequent search of her home revealed 447 pounds of fine gold. The thefts allegedly occured between January 2004 and April 2009, Brown said.

Tambunting was released on $100,000 bail and ordered to return to court on May 19. She faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted on charges of first-degree larceny and first-degree criminal possession of stolen property.

Wouldn’t you like to see the purse she was carrying around! A fake bottom. A purse big enough to carry gold out unseen?

My grandmother carried a large purse. I think she thought she had to. You see, my grandmother sold Tupperware. And, I’m convinced there was not a piece of Tupperware that wouldn’t fit into her purse. Who knows, she may have actually carried one of everything Tupperware had in inventory, it sure looked that way. By the time of her death, I was convinced that my grandmother no longer carried a purse, it was more like Samsonite! Yes, her purses were that large.

I once heard someone give the best description of what hell will look like—the inside of a woman’s purse! Pretty accurate description, if you ask me.

Ever so often, my wife will ask me to get something out of her purse—as all guys know, that’s dangerous territory and shouldn’t be entered unless invited, and even then, with extreme care. Tonya actually carries a small purse. But, trying to find my way around in there is next to impossible. And, Tonya has a reason for that, “Everything goes to the bottom of the purse!”

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2009!

I wonder how long it will take me to get used to writing or typing that. Probably a few checks will be discarded before January is over.

The new year began at midnight. A large and expensive ball dropped in an orchestrated manner precisely at midnight in New York City. Millions witnessed it in Times Square. Countless others watched the ball drop from the comfort of their homes.

We did not watch the ball drop. We did not stay awake to witness the clock strike twelve. We didn't stay up to turn the calendar or watch the number 12:01 appear on the microwave or DVD player or computer.

With a soon-to-be 11-month old child, you take advantage of every opportunity to sleep that you can. When he goes to bed, you're tempted to go to bed yourself. Whether that time comes at 5:00 PM or 9:00 PM. Why waste good hours of sleep? You just never know when he might wake up!

So, if you are reading this shortly after midnight, I'm very impressed! Happy New Year to you! Now, got to bed! It'll still be the new year when you wake up!

If you are reading this at any other time, and you didn't stay awake to see the new year arrive, I fully understand and appreciate where you find yourself!

I wish you the same well wishes for the new year. Happy New Year!

I look forward to seeing where God might lead all of us over the days, weeks, month, and year ahead.

The Cost of Being Fat

David Paterson is the governor of New York. He’s also become the brunt of numerous jokes on Saturday Night Live.

In Governor Paterson’s first state budget he has proposed a 2009–2010 budget that would increase spending by 1.1%, or $1.3 billion, to create a $121.1 billion spending plan.

Much of the growth is revenue from 88 new or higher fees and will hit New Yorkers in many areas, from downloading music to sipping drinks to fishing. One of the proposed hikes is a so-called “iPod tax,” which would tax the sale of downloaded music and other “digitally delivered entertainment services” by 4 percent. There also would be higher taxes on gas, taxi rides, cable and satellite TV service, cigars, beer, movie and sports tickets, and health spa visits, to name a few items.

Paterson seems to be fighting both obesity and budget deficits with a proposal for an 18% tax on soda and other sugary drinks containing less than 70% real fruit juice.

“People don’t really realize the amount of calories they’re ingesting through liquids,” said Joe Baker acting deputy secretary for Health and Human Services to the governor. “They say, ‘Oh, it’s just a drink.’”

According to state officials, almost one in four New Yorkers under age 18 are obese, and at higher risk for dangerous, expensive illnesses like diabetes and heart disease.

So, am I off my rocker here? Or, is this really none of government’s business? Should they being trying to tax people into doing what’s good for them? Or, is this just another way for government to tax people without most people even paying attention to it?

Hold the Bacon

A Francis Bacon self-portrait failed to sell at auction in New York this past Wednesday, in what many in the art world says is another sign the souring economy is having a crushing effect on fall season art sales.

Bacon’s 1964 “Study for Self Portrait”—billed as a highlight of Christie’s contemporary art auction—was estimated to take in some $40 million. But when the bidding stopped at $27.4 million the esteemed auction house halted the proceedings, to a chorus of gasps.

Seventy-five contemporary works were on sale Wednesday. Among the most important lots was a Jean-Michel Basquiat painter of a boxer, owned by Metallica co-founder and drummer Lars Ulrich, which fetched just over $13.5 million but short of the record $14.6 million for a Basquiat.

Experts claim that the global financial tsunami has not spared the art market, and sales of impressionist, modern and contemporary works since the fall season kicked off November 3 have been well below previous levels.

The number of unsold works has often exceeded 30 or 40 percent of lots this month, and barring a few notable exceptions the sales prices are on the whole lower than the estimates for the majority of pieces.

I don’t know. Is it just me? Could it be the reason the painting didn’t go for more was the fact that it is absolutely ugly! Who, in their right mind, would want to hang that painting on display? I’d have nightmares if I had to look at that painting all the time!

Okay Mr., Mrs., or Miss “Art Critics”, tell me what you think. Am I missing something here?

Tim Robbins vs. New York City

Last week, I featured a story about Tim Robbins, one of my least all time favorite actors, TV or movie personalities, and to be quite frank, human beings.

Now, it’s time for Tim Robbins vs. the city’s Board of Elections—Round 2. And, this one is a real good round. Not for Mr. Robbins. But, for the city! Enjoy.

You will remember that the actor caused a ruckus on election day, when he went to vote at the YMCA on West 14th Street and found his name wasn’t in the poll book. He refused to cast a paper ballot, claiming that paper ballots are often just thrown away and never counted. So, he got a court order to allow him to pull the lever.

Mr. Robbins complained, “This is just one example of how difficult it is to vote in the US.”

Well, not so fast Mr. Robbins. In a letter to Robbins yesterday, the board said he went to the wrong polling place because he’d moved from West 15th Street to West 19th on February 19, 2004, so his voting location changed to West 20th.

Then, the real kicker, the problem wasn’t noticed earlier because he hadn’t voted in recent elections, the board said.

Oh, how appropriate, on so many levels, this is so appropriate! Let’s recount (to borrow a 2000 election term):

1) Tim Robbins caused a ruckus because he couldn’t vote on election day.
2) So, Robbins goes all the way to court to get a court order to allow him to vote.
3) Mr. Robbins says that his problem shows just how difficult it is to vote in America.
4) Now, the truth comes out. Mr. Robbins went to the wrong voting place.
5) Why? Oh, simple. He hasn’t voted in recent elections!
6) Imagine that.
7) Wonder what was so difficult about previous elections? What stopped him from voting in those elections?

I know we should not laugh at other people’s stupidity. But forgive me as I do in this situation!

Some advice Mr. Tim Robbins? Before making a scene and blaming America for being a difficult place to vote, be sure to vote often enough to know where your polling place is! Remember. You can’t blame them for moving the polling place—you are the person who moved! And when you move, most of the time your voting place moves!

I love the rest of this story!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The Christmas season, I mean holiday season, I mean the season of giving unnecessary gifts going into debt for no apparent reason, is about to begin.

You can tell. The news media is beginning to tell us about the idiotic trend of removing the word “Christmas” from everything. It happens every year and just seems to get worse and worse every year. First, we couldn’t celebrate Christmas in school. Then, we couldn’t celebrate Christmas at the mall. Then, it was the courthouse square, no Christmas decorations were appropriate unless every other know religion or denomination or protest group had the same opportunity to decorate.

Well, the first report I’ve seen of this happening this year comes from Patchogue, New York (should we be surprised that it comes from New York. Probably not.)

It has been reported that a famed fireworks company is pulling out of a “holiday” boat parade because “Christmas” was dropped from the event’s name.

Fireworks by Grucci won’t lend its sparkle to Patchogue’s November 23 parade—decorated yachts on the Patchogue River—because the organizers have renamed it the Patchogue Holiday Boat Parade. It was the Patchogue Christmas Boat Parade last year, when the Grucci company donated $5,000 worth of fireworks.

The company’s vice president, Philip Butler, who has criticized the secularization of Christmas in the past, said parade organizers were “using all the themes of Christmas and plagiarizing all those themes.” Good for Mr. Butler!

Organizers in the town on Long Island, near New York City, said the parade has had several names over its roughly 15-year existence. The name was changed again this year after complaints that the use of “Christmas” seemed to make the parade less inclusive.

Now, I will admit that when I think of Christmas I don’t always think about fireworks. I’ll also have to say to the New York town that when I think of Christmas that I also don’t think about decorating boats!

Christmas is not about trees, presents, going into debt, Santa Claus, elves, reindeer, church attendance, families getting together, or even special musical services at church. No. Not a one of those things is Christmas. They may be focused on around the month of December, but they aren’t Christmas.

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. That simple. That complex. Christmas is all about His birth.

So, thank you Patchogue, New York, for helping me to remember, even on October 27, what Christmas is really about. I hope you have a good parade. You are free, in America, to celebrate anything and everything. That is your right. Have fun. Decorate. Enjoy. I’m all in favor of it. At the same time, I have a right not to attend a holiday event, parade, or sale.

I’ll live out my convictions, both with the choices of where I go and where I spend my money. That’s my right.

Merry Christmas Patchogue, New York!

I Have the Solution

[Photo from Google Search Engine. Not the actual photo of person discussed below]

A 76-year-old woman who gave her address as 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has been arrested for the 73rd time in almost four decades. This time, on charges of stealing a police decoy wallet in a supermarket and stuffing it in her bra.

The woman, who prosecutors say has used 36 aliases, was indicted Tuesday as Katherine Kelly in Manhattan Criminal Court in connection with the wallet. A criminal complaint filed earlier in this case charged Kelly with grand larceny and attempted grand larceny. It said she took a wallet, left by police as bait, from a shopping cart in a supermarket a few blocks north of Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts on October 15. It said an officer recovered the wallet from Kelly’s “bra area.”

Before Kelly was accused of taking the wallet, the complaint says, undercover police saw her trying to steal from several people inside the supermarket by putting her hand inside their bags.

Kelly’s lawyer, James Neilson, (and don’t you think he loves his job!) said Tuesday his client has not been convicted in this case and expects due process. He acknowledged his client has a rap sheet but wouldn’t comment on it.

And oh what a rap she has! The district attorney’s office says Kelly’s arrest record dates from December 21, 1971. On that date, office spokeswoman Tracy Golden said, Kelly was arrested as Charlotte Martinelli and charged with forgery. Golden did not know how the case was resolved.
Golden also noted that the woman has been arrested under 36 names, including Robin Shapiro, Antoinette Lombardi, Mildred Friedman, Sylvia McGuire, Victoria Velloti, and Charlotte Petrovas.

Golden said prosecutors are investigating the woman’s true identity. She said that although Kelly has given police 26 birth dates, her office is listing her as 76 because the age conforms to the birth date she gave with her latest arrest. Most of the defendant’s 73 arrests have occurred in Brooklyn, Golden said, with some in Manhattan and in Suffolk County, on Long Island.
The arrests have resulted in at least 16 convictions, Golden said. Most of the charges were felonies that were pleaded down to misdemeanors, she said.

I’m not a lawyer and have never played one on TV. However, I do know how to put an end to this woman’s criminal activity—put her in jail and leave her there! I’m serious. Lock her up. Give her an orange jumpsuit. Shut the door behind her. Turn the key. And, tell Katherine or Robin or Antoinette, or even Mildred goodbye, good riddance, adios!

I’m all for due process Mr. Lawyer. But somewhere between the first arrest and the 73rd due process almost seems unnecessary!

What do you think folks? Am I being too hard on her or the court system?

The Price of Integrity

A judge who gets it!

And guess what, it’s a New York judge who got it right.

Apparently, an owner of an upscale Manhattan restaurant filed a lawsuit against a supermodel over a damaged designer umbrella said to be worth $5,000. Yes, a restaurant owner owned a $5,000 umbrella—let that settle in first. Then, he loaned out the $5,000 umbrella. Then, when it was damaged, he sued for one million dollars. Yes, one million dollars!

That’s when the judge got it right! New York State Supreme Court Justice Joan. A. Madden threw out the lawsuit, calling motions filed by the attorney on behalf of Nello Balan a “waste of judicial resources.” She then fined Balan’s attorney $500 for filing a frivolous claim.

Good for her! I hope sure she makes sure the attorney pays every penny of that $500.

Balan sued supermodel Le Call for $1 million, claiming that he lent her a Jean-Paul Gaultier-designed umbrella—and that she returned it to him in two pieces.

Balan claimed emotional distress and said that the model had intentionally damaged the umbrella.

Emotional distress over an umbrella? Did he really claim that! Yes! He did!

You know, I don’t own much that is worth $5,000 or more, much less an umbrella! And, if I did, I don’t think I’d be using the umbrella, much less loaning it out!

At what point does something become of great enough value to you that you would sue over it being damaged? Would you sue someone over damaging your property?

Share you thoughts!