Yesterday, I posted about the instructions I recently found on the Georgia Aquarium's Web site. The instructions were simple: No fishing poles are allowed inside the aquarium. Duh!
After posting, several comments were shared about additional signs--look back and see Karma and Tony's comments--they are so funny!
Those comments started me thinking about Bill Engvall and his famous comedy bit about "Here's your sign."
A couple of my favorites of his include:
"It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California our house was full of boxes and there was a u-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, 'Hey, You moving?' 'Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
And...
"A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass this idiot on the dock goes, 'Hey, yall catch all them fish?' Nope. 'Talked 'em into giving up.' Here's your sign."
Tell me about your favorite sign. No fishing at the aquarium has been taken, so pick another one.
I love it when waiter/waitresses say my name is______ if you need anything. I always ask what is your name if we don't need anything? :)
ReplyDeleteKevin, there are three things waiters/waitresses ask, that always get me too:
ReplyDelete1) "Are you done yet?" (I realize that's not an Alabama saying, but often heard it in Virginia) My answer is always, "No, I need to cook a little longer on the other side first."
2) If they tell me just to ask if I need anything else, I usually have a long list: a new car, higher paying job, new house.
3) When I ask, "What credit cards do you take?" and they say, "We take any credit card", I'll generally say, "Wow, that is great! Here's my Shell Oil card!" They never seem to either get it or laugh!
Brother, here is one of my absolute favorites!!!
ReplyDeleteTony, that post and comment is priceless!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for blogs where we can tell such things! Too often, for pastors and church staff, we have no outlet to tell what our members say! Priceless!
The question I get asked the most when I'm out with my camera (which is frequently), bar none, is "What are you doing? Taking pictures?"
ReplyDeleteNoooooo. Macrame.
I walk into a quick shop with helmet on, cycling clothes and gloves and some one says, "Riding a bike?" I want to say, "No idiot. I dress this way when I go to town." Here's your sign.
ReplyDeleteI worked in a call center for Directv. I could write a book of the stupid things people have called in and said.
ReplyDelete1) This lady called in on a Tuesday. She indignantly asked "I have NFL Sunday Ticket. Why didn't I get the game last night?" I told her because it was MONDAY Night Football and she had NFL SUNDAY ticket. She retorted "Oh yeah, smarty-pants. Well then why didn't I get the Alabama-Auburn game on Saturday?" I gave up. I figure she's an Auburn fan.
2) This guy called up and said "I ain't got no TV" (a common way for Directv customers to describe that they have a problem). I told him to turn to channel 202 and tell me what he saw on the TV screen. I heard "Beep-Boop-Beep".
I told him "No sir, you can't use your telephone to change channels on your Directv Receiver."
So...Bill...are you one of those who wear those wear NASCAR looking skin tight outfits when you ride?
ReplyDeleteJoe...welcome to my site and to my little corner of the world. Come back, visit, and comment often! Would love to have you!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved your directtv stories...I think you should probably write an entire book of those!
Then again, I have DirectTV...hopefully one of those stories wouldn't be about me!!!
Steve
ReplyDeleteThanks, dude. I'm adding a link to your site. Good stuff man. I went to school at the University of Montevallo but I'm not "that way". Sorry, couldn't resist.
No NASCAR stuff (those are designed to keep them fireproof). I see no reason to need that at this point. Unless, of course, I am riding so fast that I catch on fire. I can guarantee that ain't going to happen). Just plain old black spandex. Bibs even! :)
ReplyDeleteSo, Joe, UM grad...aren't you proud?
ReplyDeleteI am a Samford grad myself...sometimes proud, sometimes not!
So Bill...black spandex...thanks for the picture my friend...I think I am going blind!
ReplyDelete