What Does Beatdown Really Mean?

By the time you read this blog post, former NBA star Charles Barkley will have completed serving a three-day sentence on a drunken driving charge.

Maricopa County sheriff’s Deputy Lindsey Smith says Barkley reported to Tent City on Saturday morning.

The 45-year-old basketball great pleaded guilty last month to two misdemeanor DUI charges stemming from his December 31 arrest shortly after leaving a Scottsdale nightclub and failing a field sobriety test.

Barkley said last month that he made a mistake and just has “to take the beatdown.”

While I appreciate Mr. Barkley’s admitting his mistake and pleading guilty—if he did make a mistake and was guilty. That’s commendable. However, what’s the “beatdown” that you are talking about? Were you afraid of getting “beaten down” in prison? Were you afraid of the “beatdown” you were going to get in the media? From your family? Friends? What’s the beatdown you had in mind, Mr. Barkley?

From what I understand, the former NBA star has just re-signed a TV deal to be a basketball analysis. Doesn’t sound like a beatdown to me. I still see where you are traveling and playing golf across the country. Again, no beatdown there. I can only assume you are still gambling with sums of money that I’ll never make in my entire lifetime. Okay, I’ll give you this one—you may get beatdown here, seeing how much money you’ve actually lost over the last year or so at the tables or with cards or even pitching pennies in a back alley, whatever your source of “fun” is.

But, come on Mr. Barkley. There’s no beatdown here. Serve your time. Then, get back to your golf and gambling. But, please, don’t come back to Alabama to run for governor as you are always threatening to do, I mean, promising to do. I’m afraid that even your credentials from Auburn University won’t stop you from truly getting that beatdown that you mention here. The people of Alabama won’t be voting for you. Not in 2010 or 2014 or any time after that.

Little Explanation Required

An Alaskan motorist who was confronted by a state trooper said he was stunned when the officer told him the car he was driving had been stolen. Charles J. Schultz explained that he was driving his Chevy Cavalier and everything was fine.

That’s when the trooper informed Schultz that he was actually behind the wheel of a Ford Escort.

Police charged Schultz with auto theft, felony driving under the influence and misdemeanor drugs misconduct. And to no one’s surprise, police said the 27-year-old’s blood-alcohol content was .166, more than twice the legal limit.

The whole incident started when Fairbanks police received a report shortly after midnight last Friday that a Ford Escort had been stolen from the parking lot of a gentlemen’s club. An officer spotted the stolen Ford two hours later—with Schultz driving.

Schultz swore he had no memory of taking the wrong vehicle outside the club, according to a criminal complaint.

Let’s see…the incident started at a gentlemen’s club—never been sure why they call it that, no gentlemen would be caught dead in one of those places! It took place after midnight—that’s when my mother and father said most people get into trouble! He was found to have a blood alcohol level of .166, .08 is considered drunk. He was charged with having drugs or drugs misconduct.

Do you really think his swearing he has no memory of the incident taking place will hold up in court? I certainly hope not!

But, this is the new America. Who knows what the outcome will be!

The Rest of the Story

Do you have a tendency to read the last chapter of a book first? Do you just want to know who committed the crime before you read how they did it? Do you like to eat your dessert before your main course?

Well, if you answered yes to any of those questions, will you please try to contain yourself just once and read this post one paragraph at a time, in order, without skipping to the bottom? Because, as you read it word by word, paragraph by paragraph, you will see that the entire post could be summed up in the last sentence!

So, don’t cheat!

Vladimir Rasimov passed out and fell asleep between the tracks as he took a short cut home after going out with some friends.

The train driver saw somebody on the line and braked sharply. When rescuers tried to pull the sleeping from underneath the carriages the man was still sleeping. Unfortunately, the rescuers couldn’t reach the sleeping man under the train. So, the train had to move forward until they could reach him.

Train driver Vladimir (does any one in Russia have a different name?) Slabiy said: “I saw a man lying between the tracks and tried to stop, but it was too late. The train went right over him and I thought he must have been killed. But when I got out and checked he was still lying there fast asleep. If he had woken up from the noise of the train he would have lifted his head and been hit by the undercarriage and that would have been the end of him.”

And, here’s the conclusion to the entire post: “It was lucky he was so drunk.”