Not too long ago, I read about the struggles of a young man who was trying to live a godly live. He was genuinely trying to give God every part of his life. But, he struggled. Listen to a small part of his testimony:
“Following Christ was very difficult. I remember as a young man, stopping one evening, my head hurting, with tremendous mental anguish—trying not to sin against God! This struggle took different forms. Sometimes I’d find myself plagued by the fact that I knew I had sinned. In those moments, I felt lost. I was no longer ready for His coming. I had separated myself from God again. On other occasions I would agonize, wondering whether I had been ‘good’ enough to show that my faith in Christ was real. Struggling so much with doubt and fear of losing my salvation I spent a lot of time ‘feeling my spiritual pulse’ to see if I thought I was doing enough for God to qualify for His grace.”
Wow…what a struggle. His words are powerful, aren’t they? Notice the words he used: “struggling, doubt, feat, losing, agonize, wondering”… Here was a young man, engaged in the battle of his life—fighting with everything he had in him to remain holy and close to God.
Notice the next part of his testimony: “Looking back, one of the things I find most significant is that I went through periods of pride when I considered the list of things I had done to ‘keep’ my salvation. There were times I was convinced that I had kept my end of the bargain, so now God would have to keep His. I felt this was part of the deal. In those moments I felt that God and I were now ‘even’—and with this mutual relationship I felt I really didn’t ‘owe’ Him anything. I had paid my dues!”
Have you paid your dues to God? Have you done your part to keep Him off your back, at least for today?
We sometimes try to get God off our back with our church attendance, by how much we drop in the offering plate, by how much we serve in His church. It’s almost like there’s a quota God has established that has to be met.
Is there such a quota? Where do you find it?
I don’t think there is such a quota, not from God’s perspective anyway. Maybe there is from my perspective. Maybe I’ve lived too much of my life as if it depended upon me punching a time clock for God. Maybe I’ve made others think they too had to pay their “God dues.”
I’m trying to learn to put the time clock away. And, I’m really trying to stop expecting others to punch that imagery clock as well.
Let up on yourself today! That extra weight you are carrying around…well, it ain’t from God.
