Some Bad Headlines and Writing

Over the last few days, I’ve been writing about poorly written or edited newspaper articles. Here’s another one, this one coming from Hart Township, Michigan.

Police say a naked 14-year-old boy taking a walk with a large white poodle assaulted a woman in Oceana County.

Sheriff Lt. Craig Mast told the Ludington Daily News the boy walked away from a behavioral treatment facility Monday. He was strolling unclothed in Hart Township with the dog when he encountered a 53-year-old woman in her yard.

Mast says, “The young naked man approached her with this poodle, and she immediately realized something peculiar.”

They spoke briefly. When the woman took out a cell phone to call for help, the boy pushed her and fled with the phone, which he later broke in half.

Deputies found the boy. He’s charged in juvenile court with strong-arm robbery and assault.

She noticed something peculiar? Wonder what gave it away? A teenage boy walking a poodle?

Just for fun, here’s another one for you to consider. This one was a headline in a California newspaper concerning a drug bust/sting operation that was being carried out in public restrooms in a state park.

The heading for the story was “Police smell crack in restroom, arrest man.” Wouldn’t you hate to have that job, going into a public men’s room and smelling!

Thanks Clay for passing these along!

Dog Gone Crazy

Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, in a dramatic incident that rattled the ex-president’s wife.

The couple’s white Maltese poodle, called Sumo, has a history of frenzied fits and became increasingly prone to making “vicious, unprovoked attacks” despite receiving treatment with anti-depressants, Chirac’s wife Bernadette said.

“If you only knew! I had a dramatic day yesterday,” she told VSD magazine. “Sumo bit my husband!”

Mrs. Chirac, 74, did not reveal where the former president was bitten, but said, “the dog went for him for no apparent reason.”

“We were aware the animal was unpredictable and is being treated with pills for depression. My husband was bitten quite badly but he is certain to make a full recovery in weeks.”

Chirac was taken to a hospital in Paris where he was treated as an outpatient and later sent home.

I’ve only been bitten by a dog once, I was a child. It was a small, little, tiny dog. The dog came after me for no reason and bit me on the back of the leg as I tried to run away. Yes, I was running away!

Did I ever think the dog was depressed? Maybe that was it! The dog was depressed and was lashing out at me, because I was little and having a good time, enjoying life.

Does that sound stupid to you?

But, then again, we are talking about the French here! And, a poodle!