The Eyes Have It; No, The Feet Have It!

I don’t know why these stories always seem to come out of Canada!

After all, I will catch grief from my wife just by putting it on my blog. My wife is half Canadian! The other half? Kentucky/Tennessee redneck. Fortunately, the Canadian side wins out more times than not.

Canadians are good people. The country is beautiful! My wife and I traveled to Victoria and Vancouver just last year! We loved it.

Then, I see the following story on the wire this week. Here was the headline: “5th Severed Foot Washes Ashore on Pacific Coast.”

Okay, that caught my attention. Notice the rest of the story, it’s from Vancouver, British Colombia, by the way.

“A fifth human foot in a year has washed ashore off the coast of British Columbia, and this time it is a left one. Police said two people out for a walk spotted the left foot floating in water off Westham Island on Monday morning. Delta Police Constable Sharlene Brooks said officials are working with the B.C. Coroner’s office to see if this foot is linked to any other partial remains recovered in the province.

“While the similarities to the other found feet is strong, she said there is no indication this foot is related to the other cases. ‘We’re certainly not discounting the possibility that this may be linked to the other recovered feet, but it’s just too premature and very speculative for us to even entertain that right now,’ she said.

“The last foot was found May 22 on Kirkland Island in the Fraser River, about one mile away from Monday's discovery. The first in the series was found nearly a year ago on Jedidiah Island in the Strait of Georgia. Within days, another right foot was found inside a man’s Reebok sneaker on nearby Gabriola Island. The third was found in the same area, on the east side of Valdez Island in early February. The origin on any of the remains is still unknown.”

Then, you’ve got to love Brooks further answer: “This might take a long time. This is not CSI.”

Now, police are complaining because it’s not CSI or do the people expect them to be like the CSI people on TV.

Curtis Ebbesmeyer, an oceanographer based in Seattle, Washington, said when a human body is submerged in the ocean, the main parts like arms, legs, hands, feet and the head are usually what come off the body. He said his theory is that the feet came along as a result of an accident that might have happened up along the Fraser River, that washed down and spread out along the Straight of Georgia. Ebbesmeyer said when the third foot was found the feet could have drifted from as far as 1,000 miles away. Ebbesmeyer said the feet could have been severed or detached from their bodies on their own.

Question for you, and there are so many at this point! Is anybody worried that this many body parts are washing up onshore in Canada? The article almost sounds as if this is a daily occurrence! Trust me. When my wife and I visited last year, we didn’t see either of two things: 1) Body parts floating along the beach, 2) People walking around with only one foot!

Where are the hands? Where are the heads? Again, trust me. If I was out swimming and lost a foot along the way, somebody would hear about it! Or, if I had disappeared, hopefully someone would notice and when reports of feet started appearing, I’m hoping that would come and at least look at my foot to see if it belonged to me!

Is anyone worried that a serial killer could be loose, who likes to remove feet? Could that be possible? And, Mr. Ebbesmeyer says the feet could have been severed or detached from their bodies on their own. I know what he meant to say, but do Canadians have a problem with limbs severing on their own? If so, they’ve got bigger problem than this! Don’t you think?

Okay, what solutions do you have? Any further problems with this article as written? Did it leave you wanting to know more or should I just keep my wife happy and not write any more articles about Canada and her beloved Canadians?

Ehh? What say you?