Well, I now know who I am voting for in the November General Election. Or, should I say that my vote has been decided for me. You see, there’s a new poll out (and we know that politicians—both the Republican and Democratic kind—live, and yes, die by polls). So, my vote has been determined for me.
The new poll says that if the presidential election goes to the dogs, John McCain is looking like best in show. Apparently, and I have no first-hand knowledge of whether or not this is true, but apparently Barack Obama does not own a pet, while John McCain owns more than a dozen pets.
The AP-Yahoo News poll found that pet owners favor McCain over Obama 42 percent to 37 percent, with dog owners particularly in McCain’s corner.
Need more proof of McCain’s landslide in November? Here are some personal testimonies that will really tug at your heart:
“I think a person who owns a pet is a more compassionate person—caring, giving, trustworthy. I like pet owners,” said Janet Taylor of Plymouth, Massachusetts, who owns two cats.
Richard Powell, 79, of Spokane, Washington, whose dog passed away late last year, said that if a person owns a pet, that “tells you that they’re responsible at least for something, for the care of something.”
Well, if voters identify with a guy who owns pets, it’s easy to see why they’d like the Arizona senator. McCain has a veritable menagerie, including Sam the English springer spaniel, Coco the mutt, turtles Cuff and Link, Oreo the black and white cat, a ferret, three parakeets and a bunch of saltwater fish.
The poll continued by finding that among people who don’t have pets, Obama leads McCain 48 percent to 34 percent. But, before you get all excited about that news, you have to remember that even that news leaves McCain looking strong, since the majority of American homes have a pet.
I doubt you will be surprised by this next bit of information: even though Obama doesn’t currently own a pet, he has reportedly promised his daughters a dog once the campaign is over. Smart move Mr. Obama! You might want to go ahead and get one now to ride with you on your chartered bus and plane.
There you have it. The campaign is over! The politicking can end today. Pet owners of America have spoken loud and clear! McCain for President!
Now, before you think I have gone off the deep-end and endorsed one candidate over the other, please re-read the post, this time with your sense of humor back in tact! Please! I have no idea who will win in November, well, that’s not true. I know that either Obama or McCain will win. It’s really up to you and me to decide that—and not some silly poll of pet owners!
